Russia threatens to send nuclear weapons to Baltic region as Sweden, Finland weigh joining NATO
...Putin: hey comrades, what's going on with Finland and Sweden? ...are they nuts? You all told me they were in favor of my government and less in favor to those rats of the European Union? Explain.
Yes Master, Finland and Sweden want the so call "freedom of Speech", "freedom of movement" and "freedom of using marihuana, cocaine, and the freedom to shoot anyone before assaulting them as needed, when needed and as willed" Freedom had become the main ingredient of Democracy.
Putin: hey
comrades, I like that conclusion of yours. Now, what should we do?
Master Putin, these Democratic so call Western modern nations are scare we menace them with the use of nuclear bombs. They are really scared.
Putin: well, just announce to them we are moving into plan B, given use to those obsolete nuclear bombs saved in all of Russia. You all make a meeting and evolve a plan on how to do that. Let me know the result.
Comrades in the meeting as they discuss it: You, idiot, why you f...ckng told that to Putin?
...cuz all those obsolete nukes are so old, so old that they could blow up in them siloes, so why nuts put them in displace few miles at the border of those "Renegade former soviet satellites?"
But you idiot, don't you know?
"know" what?
...who is going to do the work of doing the movement of those about to explode nukes?
...don't know.
We, idiot, we!
...oh, now what?
...Putin comes in: well, tell me your decisions.
Master, you know... we are confused.
...know, you bastards, you can't use your brain to think.
...no Master, we don't use that, we use our heads instead.
...well Master, why don't we give those nukes to Finland and the Swed...
Shut up! Bunch of stupid, then they'll use them against me!
...you?
...yes, me! Am Russia! Move your ass off that hole and start moving those nukes! ...wait, wait, wait! Why are you all running to the exit door? That exit will take you all to land in USA!
...thanks Master, thank to assure we'll land there, but to stay!
Putin moves his right hand and starts scratching his head as he thinks: why everybody wants
to land and stay there? That is weird!
Plot twist: Russia already has nuclear weapons in the
Baltics.
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A big factor in Swedens and probably also in Finlands change
of mind is the fact that our army's thought NATO/US would step in with troops
and help us in case of a Russian attack (unofficial agreement). Judging from
what happens in Ukraine this seems questionable hence we have to join NATO to
get the protection we thought we had!
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So you need nuclear weapons to defend yourself from Sweden
and Finland? Wow, I had no idea that they were that tough. I guess you should
consider their long history of invading Russia (sarcasm).
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With the way the war is going in Ukraine, there is no way
Russia would attack another country, but now with this news of more NATO
expansion, it's either nuclear war or embarrassing defeat for Putin. If he
considered the end of the Soviet Union embarrassing, I could only imagine how
this will end.
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Putin must've bumped his head and forgot he's not the only
one with nukes!
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US/NATO/Finland/Sweden along with freedom loving allies of the
western Pacific nations should declare Siberia an "unaligned independent
region" and send in "peacekeeping forces" to "ensure the
safety of the unique tapestry of proud and diverse historically independent
indigenous peoples in their ancestral homelands". I'm not sure I'm
kidding.
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Thats just added incentive
to join NATO. Safety in collective defense.
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